I came across one of those songs from my childhood. That I’ve always known and loved. Even though, I was too young, to understand what was going on; behind the lyrics. Or, even express what I felt, at the time. The song said, in music; that which I felt in my young heart. All these years later, with the creation of “Gotta Get Off”. I‘ve verbalized what it was, that I felt, then. And my response to it, now. The song, “Theme From Valley Of The Dolls” by Andre & Dori Previn.

My first love was a sadistic, a drug addict ...with a heart of gold. At the time, I was a masochist, who didn’t get high. We fit, back then. But, I have intentionally grown, since. I don’t need/want people to hate me, anymore. Haven’t for years. As the result, there’s my spouse. Who I have been with for over 30 years. We are very happy. It has been a long road and a lot of work; to get from there, to here. I’ve had several relationships, in between. All stepping stones, in my learning what love was …and, what love wasn’t. This song represents, what I learned. Coming from, voluntarily being hated/hurt. To absolutely, and voluntarily, being loved.

A year before my mother passed. She called me, one day. And told me, the cancer that had been in remission for several years. It had returned, only it had metastasized, and it was incurable. From where I lived in Los Angeles, I drove to San Diego, to see her. We talked a little. She was in her bed. Eyes closed. Listening to Christmas music, on the radio. Mostly, I sat quietly, and held her hand. Then, this song came on. Her eyes opened. She got a big smile on her face. And she exclaimed, "Oh gosh! This is one of my favorite songs!" And we both sang it, together (she was a singer, too). That was the last time, we were together. "Merry Christmas, mama!"